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How Do You Feel About Aging? Secrets From Ladies In Their 60s

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I asked a group of women in their 60s, five questions dealing with aging, beauty and style. I usually give tips from ladies in their 80s and 90s, so it was interesting to hear the perspective of women who are just beginning to think about how aging affects their attitude and appearance. Here are the questions I asked, feel free to respond with your own answers in the comments section of the post.

1. How old are you? What are your concerns with your appearance as you get older. What is your attitude towards aging?

2.How do you take care of your skin, keep it looking healthy. Are you worried about wrinkles and aging skin?
3. How do you keep your hair looking healthy. Do you color your hair? What is your thoughts on gray hair?
4.How has your style changed as you have gotten older. Do you feel more free to experiment with style. How do you get out of a style rut?
5.Any advice you would give to others who are concerned with aging…
Anything else you ‘d like to add?

I will post the rest of the responses next week, for now enjoy these two hat loving ladies!

[Judith Boyd of The Style Crone]

1. I am 67 years old and most of the time I feel positive about aging. I feel fortunate to be alive as I have lost several dear friends over the past few years. Aware of my mortality and loss, I am grateful for this time of life. At times I am bothered by the changes that aging brings, as it is difficult not to internalize our culture’s sometimes negative perceptions of older people. However, I believe that we are changing these perceptions so that a 20 year old and an 80 year old are both viewed as beautiful, just different. Ilona on Advanced Style presents the perfect role model for all of us to emulate. Loving and accepting myself is the first step in this process. My life is filled with vibrant people and experiences, so worrying about what aging brings does not serve me. I practice consciously focusing on creativity and expressing myself in the present.

2. I have a very healthy lifestyle. I believe my skin reflects my health in general, so I focus on taking care of myself. I eat a plant based diet and drink lots of water. I am devoted to yoga, and do something physical every day. I also meditate, practice mindfulness and focus on gratitude. All of this contributes to my health, which includes my skin. I use relatively inexpensive/natural products and have a routine day and night to clean and moisturize my skin. Our culture is youth obsessed, so it’s difficult to avoid fear with aging. But as I mentioned above, worrying doesn’t improve my appearance or my enjoyment of life.
3. My hair is short and I have it cut once per month. My hair has been cut to wear with hats since the early 80’s, as I wear a chapeau every day and feel naked without my hat companion for the day. Again, my hair reflects my overall health, so that is always my focus. I color my hair, and at times I am tempted to go grey. Especially when I see Jenny in all her glory on Advanced Style. But for now, I’m happy with my red hair and who knows what I will do in the future. I love that we can support, celebrate and appreciate the choices of all.
4. As I’ve gotten older I have become more creative and more focused on self expression. I think that since I don’t work full time in the health care industry at this point in my life, I can explore possibilities and stretch, expand, take risks. I have been known to change jobs when ‘hat wearing’ wasn’t appreciated in the work environment. I wanted a ‘hat friendly’ environment and still do. Now I also desire a ‘crone friendly’ environment. So self expression has been a part of my life for a long time, and I am not fearful of experimenting with style. At this time I feel more freedom to do so without the confines of my job. My children are adults, so I can focus on myself and my desires to a larger degree. The internet provides a diversity of ideas from across the globe, and inspiration can be found everywhere.
5. I understand concern for aging and it’s difficult to avoid. However, I would rather explore and enjoy all the possibilities available during this gift, this time of life, this world of creativity and potential. For today is all that we have and we have a choice as to how we spend our time and our resources. First of all, be compassionate with yourself and others and flow to the next best and wonderful experience that presents itself. I also love meeting new and interesting people from diverse backgrounds. Is there a better way to learn and grow? As long as I am healthy, aging is a fascinating adventure.
Thank you for this opportunity to express myself!

How old are you?

67
What are your concerns with your appearance as you get older.
Nora Ephron said it best. “I feel bad about my neck.”
What is your attitude towards aging?
We have a detente.
2.How do you take care of your skin, keep it looking healthy?
I have had the same regimen since the 1970s.
1. I clean my face with Pond’s Cold Cream. That get’s the dirt out.
2. I wash with Clinique Mild Facial Soap in the bar form. It’s rich and creamy. Then I rinse about 5 times.
3. I apply Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion.
4. I always use sun block and hats to keep the sun off my face.
Are you worried about wrinkles and aging skin?
I’m not sitting around chewing my fingernails over it. That would make my fingernails look old.
3. How do you keep your hair looking healthy.
I rinse with Guinness Stout which I have on tap — and I go to a very good salon.
Do you color your hair?
Only my hairdresser knows for sure.
What is your thoughts on gray hair?
It looks good on other women.
4.How has your style changed as you have gotten older.
I have always had a sense of style, but now I know I have a sense of style.
Do you feel more free to experiment with style.
Yes, now I can wear funny things on my head.
How do you get out of a style rut?
I don’t do ruts.
5.Any advice you would give to others who are concerned with aging…
Exercise, eat right, take care of your skin and hair and don’t wear old-lady pants with elastic waist bands.
Anything else you ‘d like to add?
The most important thing to maintain is a sense of humor.

Advanced Style On The Subject Of Bullying

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[Philip in inspired clothing]

The other day I received an email from Philip,in South Carolina, on the subject of being teased and bullied for dressing unconventionally. I had just had a conversation with some of my “Advanced Style” ladies about this, so it was the perfect time to reflect on this important and especially relevant issue. I usually keep the blog pretty light but I wanted to share Philip’s email and my response with all of you and give you the opportunity to share your thoughts . Please join the conversation by commenting below. I look forward to hearing from you all.

Philip writes:
Dear Ari and Advanced Style Women,


I am a young gay male in my 20s currently living in South Carolina. Since I was young I have loved to express myself and I learned about style from my grandmother. She would wear large jewelry and dresses with bold patterns on them. Every since I was young I have been teased on picked on for the way I express myself through my clothing and style. What advice would you give to someone who is being teased or laughed at by people daily for the way they dress? How do you deal with the negativity? 

Philip 
Columbia, South Carolina 

Hi Philip,
Thanks so much for writing in. I have had the same experience as you, digging in my grandparent’s wardrobe and wearing colorful and patterned shirts throughout middle school and junior high. There was a moment in High School where I toned down my style, but I wish I had kept on expressing myself. I have learned a lot from the ladies that I meet In New York. They sometimes get laughed and stared at, but they continue to dress up ad ignore the negativity, in fact 90 year old Ilona responds, by saying, ” I did this for you, to make you smile.” 
I was teased in High School but had the support of a creative group of friends and a wonderful mom and grandmother. If you don’t feel comfortable dressing up how you want, take small steps towards expressing these ideas. I used to wear fun hats, like my grandfather’s fishing hats and vests. Do what makes you feel comfortable and know that you will have your whole life to dress up. Sometimes I would wear something a bit more conservative but wear a colorful pair of socks. Remember you can dress up at home, make videos, start a blog and share your style with others.
It is important to express yourself and dressing up is only one facet of the creative process. If the bullying gets too much, put your ideas to paper, take photos. I  used to draw pictures of extravagant ladies and it would help to get my ideas out. Remember that there are many people like you and try and connect to them. Stay confident and remain an individual. It is your individuality that will take you places. It definitely gets easier as you get older and stay true to yourself. 
Best,
Ari Seth Cohen
Ari,
Your reply really means a lot to me. I keep reading it over and over. Today I went to school feeling a bit paranoid, but I kept thinking about what one of your amazing lady friends said once, “at least once they walk by you and laugh at you they will remember you. you will had made an impact.” I would love to hear what the ladies have to say about my issue, and I’m sure many other young peoples same issue. You can include my name if you would like.  Your blog has become a huge inspiration for me. I am thankful that you are finding these ladies and I’m thankful for these ladies bravery and fearlessness to live their lives so boldly. 
Thanks Again…
Philip 


Some insight from the ladies…

Young At Heart

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I have been making small videos with the ladies I meet so that I can share their wisdom with all of you. I hope that we can all learn something from these fearless women and continue to spread the message that we can feel young and vital as long as we have a positive outlook on life . Ilona is 90 years old and it is only in her last years that she has felt truly confident. She told me that these have been the best ten years of her life. There is much to look forward to as we age.  Here are some of the key lessons I have learned  from this extraordinary 90 year old woman:

  • Embrace opportunities that come your way
  • If you feel a pain think of something light and positive 
  • Colors can lift your spirits
  • Be a fighter, challenge yourself, when you decide to do something do it well, give all of yourself
  • If you try to imitate too much, then you look like nothing. Never compare yourself, YOU are YOU.”
  •  Feel beautiful inside and you will be beautiful outside
  • “When I move, I mooooove”

Happy Holidays From Advanced Style

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I have been playing with the design of Advanced Style for a few days and I hope it’s loading correctly for everyone.It has been pretty cold day in New York, so it’s nice to stay in the house and get some work done. Even on a freezing cold day the ladies of Advanced Style dressed up for a pre holiday lunch in SoHo.   Debra and Maryann had never met Ilona, so they were in for a real treat.  We all got along splendidly and they even braved the cold to let me snap a few shots of their stylish winter wear.

Maryann is wearing a Rodarte Jacket Leather leggings and a beautiful dress. She adds some sparkle to her outfit by adding two rhinestones to her hair, which match her gloves and amazing Miu Miu boot coverings. We are excited to check out the Rodarte sample sale tomorrow and hopefully Maryann will pick up some great bargains.

Ilona and I checked out the New Museum after bidding adieu to our other friends, a perfect end to a lovely day.